Brittanybutcher's Journals

This is what I am, what are you?

I am:

I am the boy who never finished high school, because I got called a fag everyday

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.

I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.

We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.

I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.

I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.

I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.

We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.

I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.

I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.

I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.

I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.

I am the woman who died when the EMTs stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.

I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didnt have to always deal with society hating me.

I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.

I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.

I am the boy tied to a fence, beaten to a bloody pulp and left to die because two straight men wanted to "teach me a lesson"

I am the woman who died with a rosary in her hand, yet was beaten to death by homophobic "Christians".

I am the mother who saw society kill her son, until he killed himself too.

I am the boy who killed his gay brother, and now I sit in jail crying that I murdered my closest friend.

I am the daughter who was taught that her father is evil, who never saw him because my mother would never let me.

Gay bashers, you guys really need to grow up, gay people are always going to exist whether you like it or not, grow to live with gay people, they are no different from anyone else, Gay hate is a form of racism. stop it.

Being gay doesn't change who you are, just who you like. - Brittany butcher (me)

Being content with yourself, why is it so hard?

So the past few weeks, i've gone through alot. with my insecurites, and scaredness, i've awoken. i relize that i need to be happy with what and who i am, because i'm going to have to live with myself for the rest of my life, there's no way out of myself, i'm me, i'm not going to change it anymore. i've grown up a lot, i'm seeing what i was blinded from before, i thought i was ruined a few weeks ago, i thought i was alone, i was cut open and left for dead, at least it felt like that, but there was something that kept me trying so damn hard. like the light at the end of a tunnel. I can see now that what i did was dumb, immature, but it was me, it was a part of me i knew existed but i didn't want anyone to see, i kept that side in the dark, but now i'm letting it out to co-exist with my wall i've put up about who i am. the war is over with myself, peace is made, i'm going to stop being insecure, i'm going to be me.

So here's the question for all of you:

Are you honestly showing everyone your true self, or are you putting up a front that is truely not you?

Teen suicide, is it in or is it out?

Teen suicide, is it in or is it out?

Okay, one of my friends commited suicide in october and we never saw it coming, and i've known quite a few friends whose friends have commited suicide.

So not all of you may like this blog but again its MY blog and im expressing MY opinions.

So i personally don't pity many who do commit suicide,

Its selfish really, I mean your only punishing yourself.

Death isn't glamorous nor is commiting it.

Fact: Suicide is the third leading cause of death for 15-to-24-year-olds, and the sixth leading cause of death for 5-to-14-year-olds.

Nooses?

To old fashion, to simple.

Your looking for attention.

Razor blades?

To messy, To pre-teen.

You want to kill yourself dont make it last.

Seriously suicide is useless, you don't need to kill yourself to prove a point.

some people may say "well they feel like the can't go on"

NO if you feel that way talk to someone, get some medication.

I don't take pity on those who commit suicide, really, its their own dumb fault.

Their life may be screwed up but kililng themselves only makes it worse for other people.

But suicide is a rising issue that should be confronted and delt with.

If you know anyone who wants to commit suicide get someone to talk to them.

have them talk to you, me, the person down the road.

it doesnt matter have them talk to someone.

make them relize that killing themselves isnt the way to go.

I'm not trying to be an ass about them, im just trying to say that people shouldn't feel sorry for them, its their choice if they want to live, but killing yourself isnt a good way to get attention.

tell me what you think...

xox,

brittany butcher

Abusive Relationships are the new craze?

Abusive Relationships are the new craze?

So i've been hearing alot of stuff about Abusive relationships and I'm completely shocked with what i've heard.

Fact: 1 in 11 high school students report being physically hurt by a date.

I'm sorry but if you truely love someone you wouldn't hurt them, you wouldnt leave marks on them, You wouldn't harm them.

Abuse can be physical, emotional, or sexual. Slapping, hitting, and kicking are forms of physical abuse that can occur in both romances and friendships.

PEOPLE get out of abusive relationships, you may be scared but once you do it you'll feel great, everyone deserves someone to treat them as good as they can, not to be hit and slapped. There is NO love in hurting someone.

If you are in an abusive realtionship seriously get out or your days could be limited.

Don't be scared to tell someone, there are people who will help you! there are places you can go!

Abuse has no place in love.

But on the other hand, there are reasons us people who have never been abused, dont understand why they abused person doesn't just leave.

A large part of one's sense of self-worth and self-esteem is likely to have been invested in the relationship so they don't feel like they can actually leave.

But if you know anyone who is in an abusive relationship seriously do everything and anything you can do to get them out, even if they don't want your help, continue to give it to them.

And not only does domestic abuse happen with women, it occurs with men too.

So after this blog im feeling good for expressing my opinions.

So now i want to hear yours.

What do you think about abusive relationships?

Why do you think that people stay?

Are you in an abusive realtionship or have you ever been?

xox,

brittany butcher

Beauty is anorexic?

So lately some of my friends have been calling themselves "fat" and saying they hated how they look, They show me pictures of what they see as beauty.

What may I ask is pretty about that?

Do you want to be literally skin and bones?

Do you find is attractive?

Fact: Up to 10 million teens develop eating disorders, abnormal attitudes and behaviors with foods, which include anorexia nervosa or bulimia nervosa.

10 MILLION! Thats not a small amount.

Now i understand everyone's probably thinking, "Well being fat isn't so hot either."

And thats REALLY true, but there is a fine line between being fat, and being healthy.

Beauty Isn't what society makes it out to be,

It what YOU make it out to be.

Everyone wants to be liked, they want to be the popular girl in school, they want all the guys kissing the ground they walk on.

But In order to be pretty you have to think your pretty. So like you for what you look like, not what everyone else looks like.

Beauty is a thing seldom seen. It is held by all within the soul it lies, waiting to come out to the surface, but it can only be found if someone is sharing your soul with you. Beauty is suppressed by the evils of the world. -urban dictionary.

Why do us teens like to think that SKINNY is the onlly was to be beautiful, i mean i've seen some plus size models, or actors that were honestly some of the prettiest women i've seen.

And just because you have curves doesn't mean your fat.

Just because girls have boobs doesn't mean their fat.

Curves are much more appealing than skin and bones

For instance: Tyra Banks is 161 pounds and she is still working it as if she was the hottest thing alive.

and even this girl is still pretty, and she has a big frame.

She is owning her look.

Thats the beauty of it, she's able to look great and feel great.

Stop calling yourselves ugly people. own your look, think your gorgeous and other people will too.

xox,

Brittany Butcher.

i'm really sad.

I'm uberly sad.

and disapointed. See on August 10th i believe, i was supossed to go on stage with one of my favorite bands and sing my favorite song with them. BUT thanks to the lead singer quiting today, i can't. They are canceling their august tour to search for a new singer and a new basist. Then they are going to write a NEW record, release it in the spring, and tour NEXTT year! i don't want to wait till next year! -_- i'm really disapointed, and now i have to tell all my friends to cancel because of this. i had about 15 or 20 people going to see them with me.

what do i think about life? here's what i think about life.

well i think life is a gift, that has been taken for granted. we are genualy selfish creations, so we dont fully take in how much we havnt understood about life. in life you cant find who you are, you have to create who you are, there will be momments where you have an opportunitie to create your being, and sometimes we fuck them up, but the glory of it is that we will have countless opportunities to fix what we have done. dont live you life unnoticed, be that crazy kid. like me. dont copy other people, be origional and make your life abnormal. we dont see how much we actually have an effect on other people, see every single one of us has someone who looks up to us, we must grasp that knowledge and mold ourselves to be a great role model. now im not saying be a goody two shoes, because im not a goody two shoes. i never have been, and i never will be. everyone makes their life out to be some horrible fairy tale, but you most likely have it better than millions of people in the world. just think of the people in war, or in some starving country. some blunders and absurdities will squirm its way into your life, but hey it happens to everyone. don't be jealous or envious of other people because it does you NO good. i mean why fret over someone better than you when you can go and do the same thing? the absolute truth is that no one knows what's going to happen tomorrow nothing is guaranteed. you could die tomorrow, or someone you love could die, so make the best out of your life, spend every second as it your going to die in days, don't blink, or slow down keep chasing after your dreams and goals. Everything happens for a reason people make themselves different so you can learn to let them go, bad things happen so you can learn to become more thankful, you believe lies so you won't get hurt, and good things fall apart so even better things may come together. you should also consider being open-minded, and you must understand that you can't judge a book by its cover, you wont get far by doing that, beauty is only skin deep and we all need to learn to look past vanity and find people's inner-being. say what you think, dont refrain, because you may never have another chance to say it.

I am:

I am.
Current mood: pissed off

myspace? AIM? MSN? yahoo?

Eh, Not a lot of people have been talking or active on here lately, So contact me in other ways.

MYSPACE - www.myspace.com/ilovemyemomuffin

AIM - brittanyybutcher

MSN - xxmrs.pete-wentzxx@hotmail.com

Yahoo - brittanyybutcher@yahoo.com

LEAVE ME YOUR STUFF TO CONTACT YOU HERE.

sdfsdf

Hi, I'm brittany butcher.
I'm not as pretty as I may appear to be,
I'm not as nice as I may appear to be,
I'm not perfect, I do not claim to be.
My brains out-of-wack,
My head not screwed on tight,
I'm far from focused,
Now-a-days, I find myself lost,
Lost in a pool of thoughts,
I'm searching for who I am,
And what I want to be.
The word love kills me, It makes me flinch everytime I hear it, only because I don't believe people "love" me. I believe people say they love me, but don't mean it.
But if I tell you I love you, I really do mean it, I don't say I love people a lot, but if your one of those lucky people who get an "I love you" than don't abuse it. I get hurt easily, Don't upset me, please.
I have anger issues, believe me, I get mad over everything. I have enemies, and that's good, because it means i've stood up for myself. I may hate fighting, but I'm not afraid to fight, Dont take me as weak, you push me, I'll push back ten times harder
I'm Fat.

I'm Ugly.
And I'm A Freak.